I woke up this morning with the sad realization it’s Friday. Today there is no celebratory TGIF or Yippee ki-yay like I’m sure will occur in future Friday posts. It was more like oh’ S*&%, I can’t believe I wasted the whole thing!
Where did the past two weeks go?
If I get up and move really fast, I wonder if I too, can become Superwoman?
“Faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Able to leap tall buildings at a single bound!”
And then I poured my coffee, opened my laptop and accepted the defeat before me.
I haven’t done one thing on the very ambitious list I’d prepared for the two weeks I’ve had (notice past tense) off for Christmas break. The same two weeks that are now over. The same two weeks I’d set aside to clean, organize and plan for my future, after what has been a less than stellar year.
And yet, here I sit, with a cup of steaming coffee (which tastes particularly wonderful today I might add) writing, and like a bolt of lightening traveling across a stormy sky (yep, it’s cheesy, but I can now add a poetry tag) it occurs to me.
I’m procrastinating my procrastination. This sudden wham bam of knowledge (however, whimsical it may be) made everything feel better. It felt powerful. As any mathematician will tell you (which I’m not, so just trust me) two negatives make a positive. By procrastinating my procrastination, I’m avoiding all negatives.
And then….another justification to my already outlandish thought pattern occurred.
My writing is helping me clean things up for 2014. It’s helping me organize the wants, needs and desires I have for the upcoming year. It’s also helping me plan. Is it possible, that just maybe, I’m doing exactly what I set out to do and successfully procrastinating at the same time?
I have wasted a lot of time over the past two weeks wallowing in self-pity, writing angry letters that will never be sent and trying to figure out what I want in life and I never would have accomplished such an oddly productive list, had I not hidden under the covers with my laptop and procrastinated.
I have less than three days, before I become a dedicated worker bee and overly zealous full-time student once again. This will require unwrinkled clothes, a little morning make-up and hairstyling, all while wearing the dreaded bra, (since everyone knows procrastinating from under the covers can only be accomplished by being braless) but until then I shall procrastinate. I will procrastinate proudly and do it without regret, allowing myself to think about all of the things I should be doing, while thinking about all of the things I’m not.