I began this blog with the hope it would help me continue with my journey to become the me I want to be. There are days I know I’m rocking it and there are days I feel that I haven’t changed a bit since high school. It’s hard to measure the most personal parts of yourself. How can you tell if you’re truly more confident or have just become a better actress? How can you tell if you’re happier or have just become comfortable in your unhappy circumstances? These are questions that I’m working hard to answer for myself.
My daughter posted a picture on Facebook earlier today that was a painful reminder of the past. I’d forgotten about the picture and it initially upset me. I’ve spent years trying to erase the lady on the left from my memory.
Sometimes you need a good swift kick to bring you back to reality, and the picture of the old me was that kick tonight. It’s a visual reminder of how far I’ve come on my journey. The picture represents the obvious physical change of losing 120 pounds, and it also reminds me of a time and a place when I never thought I would make it to the age of 49 years old. I was deeply depressed, had weight related health issues and stuck in a place where I couldn’t visualize anything different.
The lady on the right is still a work in progress, but when she looks at the lady on the left, she knows that anything is possible when there’s a strong enough desire to change. My daughter offered to remove the picture from Facebook since it upset me. I told her no!
It may be difficult, but it’s important to never forget where you’ve come from. Remembering is the only way to avoid going back.