A Picture Paints A Thousand Words

I began this blog with the hope it would help me continue with my journey to become the me I want to be.  There are days I know I’m rocking it and there are days I feel that I haven’t changed a bit since high school.  It’s hard to measure the most personal parts of yourself.  How can you tell if you’re truly more confident or have just become a better actress?  How can you tell if you’re happier or have just become comfortable in your unhappy circumstances?  These are questions that I’m working hard to answer for myself.

My daughter posted a picture on Facebook earlier today that was a painful reminder of the past.  I’d forgotten about the picture and it initially upset me.  I’ve spent years trying to erase the lady on the left from my memory.

Baptism                                 photo1

Sometimes you need a good swift kick to bring you back to reality, and the picture of the old me was that kick tonight. It’s a visual reminder of how far I’ve come on my journey.  The picture represents the obvious physical change of losing 120 pounds, and it also reminds me of a time and a place when I never thought I would make it to the age of 49 years old.  I was deeply depressed, had weight related health issues and stuck in a place where I couldn’t visualize anything different.

The lady on the right is still a work in progress, but when she looks at the lady on the left, she knows that anything is possible when there’s a strong enough desire to change.  My daughter offered to remove the picture from Facebook since it upset me.  I told her no!

It may be difficult, but it’s important to never forget where you’ve come from.  Remembering is the only way to avoid going back.

JusJoJan

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4 thoughts on “A Picture Paints A Thousand Words

  1. I’m so proud of you. You have come so far as a person and as a mother. You have no idea how much hope you give us. Both that we can change who we are and that it is ok to remember the people we used to be. You are beautiful inside and out and We love you more than words can express.

  2. I love you too Bug. It’s a journey that I never would have survived without you, your sisters and your brother. The four of you have been my light in the darkest moments and my joy along the way.

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