Fragments of Rose-Colored Nothingness

It’s not complicated anymore.  It’s over.

I took off my rose-colored glasses today.  And then I stepped on them.  And then I beat them with a hammer.

After almost three years, my head and my heart are in unison. Their teamwork invaluable to my quest.  They both feel heavy, but I know they will regain their strength.  Not only have I chosen a  different path, I’ve begun my new journey.

My journey without you.

My heart hurts.

Tonight is hard.
Tomorrow will be worse.
The day after, even worse.

But I know –
I will eventually find peace.
I will eventually find contentment.
And then I will find myself.

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “Fragments of Rose-Colored Nothingness

  1. I need to tell you however hard your decision feels today it is the right one. Be strong move on and know you are not alone. Things will get better the sun will shine and you will find what is real and know you got there because of you.
    You have expressed your feelings perfectly, be big and brave. xxxx

    1. Thank you. I have no doubt it’s the right decision. This is a relationship that never should have been, and the hot and cold over the years, has left me in drained. Ironicallly, the reason I began the blog in November of 2013, was to work through ending it. It’s now 15 months later and I’m just now making the hard decision to leave the relationship. I will be ok. I just need to make it through the reality of the next few days. I’ll be sharing the story when I’m feeling better. Thank you for your kind words. They mean more than you know. xoxo

  2. I have moved on from relationships that were propped up by my rose colored glasses. I left them on. I just waited for things to get so bad that the truth couldn’t be colored any longer. Those moves are hard, but you will find yourself and you will find yourself in a better place. Good luck.

    1. I will be fine. The strange part is being at this point in life (50-year-old divorcee’ after 19 years of marriage, empty nester yada yada) and to be dealing with this. This relationship was one that should have never been, and I knew it from the first day. It’s taken me a long time to make the break, but I know I did the right thing. I just have to settle in to the reality of it. Thanks for your kind words. They’re genuinely appreciated.

  3. (((((hugs)))))
    Its horrible, isn’t it. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how logical it is, or how sensible or right, it still hurts like hell 😦
    Each day is only 24 hrs long, each our only 60 miniscule minutes. It’s do-able. Each day will pass and it gets a little easier
    Keep blogging – let us know you are ok?
    xxx

    1. Thank you Meredith. I’m doing better, although it’s just another one of those ‘life isn’t fair’ moments. I’m 50 years old, not 16 🙂 and I’ve shocked myself with how difficult this has been.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s