The Caretaker


Dreams of nothingness.  Dreams of silent abandonment from all those around me.

Treasured roles —

A need to be needed.  Needed.  Silent screams for freedom.
That which fills me, depletes me.
That which completes me, breaks me.


An identity lost in a fog of who I once was. Blinded by the reality of who I am.
Visions of solitude shielded by a panic of isolation.
A quest to evolve in a shadow of complacency.  The illusion of distance.  Close, yet far away.

Challenged to face the unknown. An unchartered path to selfhood. Endless possibilities for a life yet lived.

Inspired by The Daily Post word prompt “lukewarm.” 

Fragments of Rose-Colored Nothingness

It’s not complicated anymore.  It’s over.

I took off my rose-colored glasses today.  And then I stepped on them.  And then I beat them with a hammer.

After almost three years, my head and my heart are in unison. Their teamwork invaluable to my quest.  They both feel heavy, but I know they will regain their strength.  Not only have I chosen a  different path, I’ve begun my new journey.

My journey without you.

My heart hurts.

Tonight is hard.
Tomorrow will be worse.
The day after, even worse.

But I know –
I will eventually find peace.
I will eventually find contentment.
And then I will find myself.